Tag Archives: nick clegg

Ridiculous Clegg #24483

So in THIS article, Nick Clegg continues his campaign to look like a dick to every single group imaginable – youth, women, and now book fans. I honestly think that he’s hired Keith Lemon to do his PR or something; it’s like he doesn’t want to look good.

 

Nick speaks about his Coetzee addiction in the piece, him being one of Clegg’s ‘favourite writers’. I have read Coetzee, and it’s some of the most boring work in the world – evidently, it is from literature such as this that Clegg has developed his sparkling personality and wit. He states ‘I love that very simple, sparse style – not a single surplus word. It’s almost barren, so beautiful.’ Firstly, let’s make the obvious connection between the barrenness of Clegg’s political convictions and the writing. And also, it is great that Clegg can find beauty in some shitty Australian writing but not in our public libraries, our education system, the environment, in having a public NHS or in same-sex marriage equality. A PR coup, truly well done Clegg. Continue reading

People I’d Like To See On Question Time #bbcqt

Question Time’s pretty good but we always have Owen Fucking Jones and Bloody Baroness Warsi on the panel, along with wet squibs like Will Young and boring know-it-alls like Will Self. So here’s some suggestions as to who we could have on in the next few months – yes, you’ve guessed it, I’m writing a f*cking list.

Some of the following may or may not have appeared on Question Time. For example David Starkey (yes he has) and The Queen (no she hasn’t), to name a couple.

  • Kate Middleton Since that whole watched-by-the-world royal  wedding, we haven’t really seen Kate properly. Obviously she’s too classy (and royal) for something like Celebrity Big Brother so, for the exposure, let’s get her on here. She can air her views and be patronised by everyone.
  • Lady Gaga For obvious reasons this would be absolutely spectacular. I’d like her to wear a hat shaped like Nick Clegg’s entire body which rocks back and forth continuously.
  • A Bishop or Archbishop or Anyone from the Catholic Church Let’s see if any of the ‘official Catholics’ can actually defend their homophobic and archaic anti-gay marriage stance, in the face of the actual public, and not just by writing shit articles. Also let’s see if they seriously still have that issue with contraception.
  • Kirstie Allsopp She was meant to be on a few weeks back, then she got cut out, and hasn’t been put back on the panel since, despite her Twitter insistence that she will be on. Someone sort this out it’s not just anyone it’s Kirstie Bloody Allsopp! Continue reading

Why, contrary to their insistence, the Lib Dems are NOT the party of the young people

I got a letter this week. This was hand-delivered by one of the dodgiest-looking people alive. I opened said letter, and it was also from one of the dodgiest people alive: a Lib Dem.

This letter is a ‘dear Young Person’ vote-for-me plea, from my local Lib Dem candidate, for the local elections on the 3rd May. Now for a number of reasons I will not be voting for the Lib Dems on 3rd May, or in fact, at any point during my life. Most of these reasons can be discussed in relation to this shitty letter – which let’s be honest, is an insult to receive as a ‘young person’.

All this letter does is highlight to me exactly how out of touch those in charge of the Lib Dem party actually are with the youth of today. From the topics covered, you’d think we were living in some magical Disney village where the most important things for us were a plentiful supply of glitter and the welfare of a friendly talking squirrel. Let’s take a look at some of the ‘topics’ covered. Continue reading